you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
