Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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