He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
