Do vagina's smell?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize