she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
