I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
