"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
third nipple confirmed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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