fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
