it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize