I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
