i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
