arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize