The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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