I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
