dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
