His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
