You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Floor bacon is actually really good
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize