You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
