If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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