i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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