why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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