doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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