that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
