And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
