i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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