He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize