He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
