He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
