dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
