just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
