This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
