I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
