That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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