i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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