can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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