Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
