we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
