Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
