Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
