omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
