Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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