God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Randomize
