Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
