it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
