PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
