the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize