Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
