If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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