We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
