I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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