It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize