that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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