but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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