Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
