umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize