we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
