a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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