Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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