I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think my moral compass just broke
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
