k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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