He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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