i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
