you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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